Satire

World Hopelessly Admiring Hungary for the World Aquatics Championship

7.4 billion inhabitants of the planet are abuzz with excitement about the 2017 FINA World Aquatics Championship and its breathtaking host city, Budapest, it has been confirmed. The ability of taxpayers to nonchalantly underwrite such generous prestige events is widely admired worldwide as tourists are making desperate efforts to book their next holiday in the city where swimmers dived into water so lavishly. 

“I can’t believe a country can do that” – said Mr Kim from Korea as he kept furiously refreshing his screen to get on the waiting list of a travel booking site.

“I’ve just recently managed to book Barcelona, where the 2013 championship took place and I am bidding on a shared bed in a hostel in Kazan. I think it is in Russia. I have also been excited about Athens and tried to spend my money there ever since I heard about the 2004 Summer Olympics. Such national successes leave a lasting impression on me.”

Budapest hotels are fully booked until 2037 due to frantic interest in the country – caused by the successful event that made the 6 billion viewers of its opening ceremony gasp.

But the brand “Hungary” now shines bright everywhere. Hungarian tourist Mr Pista Hufnágel received a hero’s welcome on his holiday in Croatia. Mr Hufnágel was touched but not surprised:

“I knew from the moment they invited the Rolling Stones to the opening ceremony that I was destined for greatness. I can be a proud Hungarian abroad for the rest of my life” – he said as his awed host poured him another shot of complimentary rakija and asked how he did it.

Meanwhile, residents of Budapest are overwhelmed with all the shiny new infrastructure they inherited from the athletes, such as this 10-ton chunk of concrete that will now stay in the Danube for the next such event in 2020.

Photo: 24.hu/Berecz Valter

“I love it. I have the feeling that our lives are now enriched for generations to come” – said Budapest resident Mrs Paula Mézga, looking at the concrete structure. “I am also looking forward to use the public swimming pools again when they reopen next summer… or the summer after that. The only thing I don’t like is that we still don’t have enough football stadiums” – she added and looked around nervously whether anyone could hear it.

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Featured image: Michal Navratil (CZE) from fina-budapest2017.com

 

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